Is there a right time?
I remember sitting in my bathroom wearing my boyfriends hoody staring at the two red lines appearing on my very own pregnancy test. I was 21 years old, just over two thirds of the way through my dance performance degree and commuting to London on a daily basis. This all said, the pregnancy was not a surprise. It was discussed, a mutual decision. We both wanted this, maybe not the first week I came off the pill but young, naive and slightly over excited it happened. We had the house, we had the dogs, Courtneys' career was flying and in sports retirement is never far. Our life was predicted by who he played for, most days home mid afternoon, long story short we managed to talk ourselves into it. Courtney was away the night I found out. I cried and not from joy. I was scared. I could barley keep a plant alive and I could already feel the toll it was taking on my body. Was this right? Had I done everything I wanted to do? Should I have fulfilled more life ambitions? Should I have gone to V-fest one more time? Should I be older?
You don't have to search far to see that we as a population are leaving it later and later to have children. A survey done by Centrum states that some women take up to five years to plan motherhood. Mainly split between career goals, saving for the money sucking little beings or waiting to own their own property. Then theres this whole idea we must fulfil all lifes challenges before conception. Writing a novel, running a marathon, backpacking the globe. Lord knows you will be too busy packing lunches and scanning Ofsted reports to indulge in any sky dives and forget about next seasons Chanel, all your money will be spent on designer prams with cup holders and contraception. The bucket list now has a much shorter life span. So when is the right time?
It is not a subject to be taken lightly, even though everyone you meet parades the same advice 'there is never a right time'. What does that mean? Go and get pregnant now? See how it goes? Give up your life's work for motherhood, just because Nancy from accounting loves it, you will too? Babies are expensive. How well do you think your relationship would hold up on 5 hours sleep a week? And what about your friends, do they have kids? Do they even like kids? A large percentage of first time mothers worry about being socially isolated after pregnancy. Just to add to the mix one in seven couples have fertility struggles. So even when you do decide the time is now, it does not mean it will happen now. Are you emotionally stable enough to deal with trying? Are you emotionally stable enough to deal with more hormones? ALOT more hormones.
My life today is worlds away from my life back then. Not only did I leave my teenage years to become an adult, I left them to become a mother. A now, mother of four and wife. I graduated from university, I performed at 6 months pregnant, I now run two businesses from home, I party harder than when I was a fresher, I still wear Louboutins and I'm planning on V-fest next year.
My advice to you: you can do it all.