Toddler Mayhem By Mimi @lamimicollection
When my twin daughters were born I would frequently hear comments ranging from “double trouble” to “do you ever sleep?” I used to smile sweetly back at these strangers with their questions or unsoclitied advise and feel proud to tell them how my girls slept through the night from six weeks old and were such happy easy babies. Infact they were such joyful babies that by the time they were six months old I was so broody I wanted to try for another. But thankfully when I ran this by a good friend of mine she said to me ” just you wait until they reach two years old and you will be thankful you didn’t have anymore yet”… oh how right she was.
My life is run by these mini Dictators- yes you heard me right DICTATORS and I’m going to fill you in on our daily schenangans.
(If your trying to conceive and don’t want to change your mind on becoming a mother – stop reading NOW)
Every morning is a circus show in our house – Dictator one will rant and scream for a good twenty minutes until she has made sure she has been heard and i am adhering to her demands by running to the kitchen to get her morning milk. Not the most pleasant wake up call – but I’ve got to give it to her that she will clearly be persisitant at whatever she decides she wants from life . “Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Milk,Milk,Milk,Bottle,Now,Mum” – and throughout she gets louder and louder and ensures she is making as much destruction noise with it such as banging the walls , throwing all her sheets out the bed and screaming like a dinosaur on steroids.
Dictator two just lays quiet at this point – clearly satisfied with her sisters performance, which means she has decided to sit this one out and wait for the ransom to be met. As soon as dictator one hears me say “ok, ok I’m going to get your bottle” she is instantly quiet and when I arrive she smiles like an angel – like butter wouldn’t melt. Don’t be fooled.
Coffee is a necessity in my household. Gone are the days of caffeine free energy – if you don’t have at least two cups of coffee a day there is no chance of survival.
Breakfast is ordered by the dictators – “cereal, goghurt, chocolate” – is the usual morning food demands. I always make them eggs,toast and other delicious morning food – to which they take one bite and walk away – oh the irony!
The rest of our day is filled with playgroups, parks, play dates, and anything else I can think of that will drain all of their energy until bedtime arrives. Within this time there is lots of fighting over toys, drawing on the walls, drawing on themselves, not listening to me while running away as if it’s the most hilarious thing they have done or seen all day and of course some lovely moments in between (which make it all painfully worthwhile).
Playgroup is usually my time to leave them knowing they are safe and in good care while I triumphtly run away as fast as I can for a coffee and some MUCH needed peace and quiet. To my horror dictator two has decided Mum doesn’t need this time and will no longer allow me to leave her, actually she won’t even get out of her pram when we arrive anymore. Oh how I look forward to when you are a mother little one, one word – Karma.
Bedtime arrives at 7pm, like a knight in shining armour with roses and a carriage. Then it’s time for me to work, relax and prepare for tomorrow.
Someone told me it gets easier – when will that be? When they marry and move out?