Trust your instinct. My birth experience by Charlotte Robson @Charlotte_robson
I would say I had a pretty perfect pregnancy and loved it. As the end was in sight I was getting anxious to know everything was ok and due to a couple of episodes of reduced movement, (one at 32 weeks and one at 36) and learning that baby was thriving and growing quite large in there we were offered an induction. I found I got quite a lot of negative opinions on accepting an induction, most saying let the baby come naturally and let nature take its course without forcing baby out but I am so glad that I listened to my heart. Something told me baby needed to come early and I believe that that was the beginning of my mummy instinct.
On the morning of my induction our babies heart rate was high and, as the midwives put it, 'tacky.' They proceeded with the induction and although I took a lot of magazines and games to pass the time I found pain began right away. Unfortunately the midwife on duty at the time didn't tell me that this pain was only what they call 'pre labour' learning this a few hours in was quite a set back for me as after watching numerous episodes of one born (every minute) I was hoping I'd be at least 4cm dilated by now but I was barely 1 and not at all effaced! As the pain grew stronger but no contractions showed on the monitor my disappointment and feeling of not be able to do this increased. I couldn't sit/stand/bounce on the ball, my magazines were definitely out of the window. I was made to feel like I wasn't coping and I should have been dealing with the pain better.
After 4 hours past and a thankful shift changeover happened a new midwife noticed my genuine struggle. She hooked me up to portable heart monitors so I could move and kept a very close eye on me. After another few hours passed and our baby still not happy the midwife alerted the doctors who arrived in full force. Baring in mind I was still in the induction suite and surrounded by ladies who were watching tv and reading their magazines comfortably, they finally reached the conclusion that I was having a bad reaction to the pessary and they feared an infection was brewing. To further my disappointment they then decided to give me an injection to stop my 'contractions' and hook me up to fluids. To think I was going back to square one was devastating and after 3 tried and failed attempts to get a cannula in me my feeling of failure was reaching boiling point. My partner Dale was incredible and thoughout it all was by my side every step of the way just as I needed him to be.
As the drugs set in the next and final chance at the natural birth I had been hoping for came when they took me though to a private room to break my waters, now that is a feeling I will never forget - luckily they offered me gas and air! With much tracking they were hoping this would kick start contractions and dilation but after incredible pain and no change - well I'd made it to a measly 2cm at this point it was give up time.
Talking about it now Dale and I had both had a feeling about the outcome and we were both right; it was theatre time! After 7 hours and many lows all I wanted was my baby here safely. We listened to all of the facts and figures before signing the consent papers (pen in one hand gas and air in the other). My bed was positioned right in front of a ticking clock and as Dale headed to scrub up I overhead the midwife say there was a 30 minute delay because there was no anethesist on site - they had to be kidding me! As the 30 minutes ticked by I moved from category 2 to category 1 emergency due to our babies heart rate, so the next rush began (Dale laden up with all our bags on yet another move). I was whizzed straight to the table, spinal was injected and there were suddenly around 10 new faces surrounding me, none of them being Dale.
Dale finally arrived and after I had agreed I could feel touch but not pain the op began. We were told it was likely our baby would need rushing straight off for checks so my chances of getting the wanted immediate skin to skin contact were out of the window. Soon enough however our beautiful baby came squealing into the world and tears streamed down our faces. They then lifted baby up and the surprise was finally out we had a beautiful baby girl! Dale went straight with her and thankfully got to provide her with skin to skin we'd hoped for while I couldn't and to be honest it couldn't have been more perfect, to see my husband with his daughter was the proudest moment of my life. He brought her to me and we covered her in kisses and tears.
After being sewn up and treated to a cosmetic style stitch because of my troubles I was an ecstatic (although slightly in shock) new mummy. I finally got my chance at skin to skin when we got to the recovery room and our beautiful baby Autumn latched on for her first breastfeed.
As our first days with her passed by our love for her was just insane. Now at 5 days old I can write my story with no tears (well so far so good). I didn't read much about baby blues but wow do they kick in, that mixed with post op pains I've been an emotional wreck! It is times like this that make me so thankful for the support of my family, friends and most importantly Dale. I am taking baby steps with our progress and being proud of even the little things like getting through a feed, nappy change and bath all in one morning!
I love my new little family and wouldn't change my experience for anything because it brought me my little girl. I would say I am now much more open minded and believe you should always trust your instincts no matter how you are made to feel. Whatever worry you have however big or small talk to someone and make yourself heard. Pregnancy and birth is an incredible but tough experience and all mummies to be and new mummies should be proud of themselves everyday. No matter how hard your day has been find a positive and concentrate and remember that - you are doing a great job!