To our friends
Thanks for understanding why we haven't been around much recently, we still love you it's just when we get a spare minute we are using it to shower or shit.
Thanks for not being mad at the 3am replies. This is because we mostly can't remember where we put our phones in the day, that or it is being used to play the hairdryer app in a new-borns crib or live streaming someone playing with play doh.
Thanks for coming to our kids action hero parties and dressing up, making it out that you want to be there. We know spending 3 hours with 20 toddlers doped up on sugar, dressed as buzz lightyear is not what you want to do with one of your two days off a week.
Thank you for laughing at the average stories we tell you about our kids. For joining in with us, their mothers, who find it funny when they cough.
Thank you for a night off that we have begged for, even if we talk about our babies all night. We know the more we drink the more we coo and we're sorry we left at 10pm but not before we made you feel our deflated post baby boobs.
Thank you for coming to really terrible child-friendly restaurants to eat popping candy ice-cream while our kids watch iPads, go to the toilet 15 times and order something to then say they don't like it. We wish we were at Gaucho too but they don't do chicken nuggets.
Thanks for telling us we look great. For not mentioning the baby weight, or the fact we haven't brushed our hair all week. We don't believe you but that lie makes us feel good.
Thank you for understanding why we may have to drop out of our plans last minute. We never intend to let you down, but these tiny humans that can't survive without us make their own plans.
Thanks for saying 'I don't know how you do it'. In some strange way this makes us feel like we are killing it.
Thanks for loving our kids and answering the 4 million questions when you walk through the door, getting on the floor to play with the puzzle thats always missing a few pieces and always putting 100% effort into your assigned role play character. It means more than you will ever know.
We just wanted to say.. Thanks.