The first time out after a newborn
After having Nell I always remember thinking; why would I ever want to go out without this tiny baby? I don't want to leave her with someone else, so why should I have to? What if something was to go wrong? What if she cried and no one was listening? What ever will be the reason for me to have to leave her. I had been nursing this tiny baby day and night for months and my birthday was fast approaching. I hadn't had a drink in what felt like years and even though the thought of another sleepless night seemed like the worst idea possible, what better reason for a night off than my birthday, I was ready! ..I think.
Nanny-Bob ( my mum ) was booked in to come and stay, for the whole weekend I might add, I can't cope with hangovers never mind hangovers and a new born. I felt better that Nell would still be at home rather than going to stay somewhere else, at least then I could see her as soon as I wanted, even if my breath did smell like a Pornstar Martini. It is essential to leave them with someone you trust endlessly. Someone that will respect your way of doing things even if they know better and when you know that someone loves your tiny baby as much as you do, it defiantly minimises the worry when you slinging back Tequilas.
The date was approaching and I could see I was trying to talk myself out of it. Id prefer to spend it at home in my pjs with a takeaway. I won't enjoy myself, I will just be worrying about Nell. Well call me Satan but I went and I had the best night ever. Nell was asleep before I left and still zonked when I returned, she didn't know any different and I had a brilliant night surrounded by friends that didn't mind if I showed them 500 baby pics and talked about my leaky boobs while dancing on the tables.
There is nothing wrong with indulging in a bit of me time, in fact I belive this makes me a better mum but like everything there is never a right time or correct amount of days to wait its just when you are ready and the only person to make that decision is you.
The first time we left Ronnie for the evening was when she was around 4 months old. She was onto bottles and she had established enough of a routine where I felt happy that I could go out. I called upon my mum, a women that I trust more with my child than myself who came up north to babysit. We had no special occasion, but decided that it would be nice to have a date night after months of sleeping in separate beds and well, as most people who have a small baby will know, not much interaction! After months of swelling through pregnancy, a 4 stone weight gain and then a C section I was ready to put on some heels and feel good again. So thats what we did. We headed into Manchester. It felt like the old dating days when we first met, but better, we knew we had this little huddle of love at home that we had made that we would wake up to the next morning.
Even though I was leaving her with my mum, someone who has raised 5 children it still felt totally alien. Without much help up North I spend pretty much all day everyday alone with R so to hand her over, even to the most trusted of people felt weird. Of course she was asleep the entire time, and wouldn't have even known id left the bedroom let alone the house! But it still felt bizarre. I messaged my mum a few times whilst we were out, and like any good mum she just replied with 'alls fine' even if shit had of hit the fan my mum would have messaged this.
We enjoyed our night, it was so nice to reflect on what had happened over the past year whilst being undistracted. It felt good to put some makeup on and feel human again after the blur of the newborn phase. Of course, come 10pm we were both exhausted and ready to come home to put comfies on and be near our babe, but it was a good start.