Pour from a full cup (of champagne)
What I have noticed since falling pregnant and starting this business is becoming a parent has some really shit stigmas attached to it. Really shit. So shit it can doubt your decision. As I am about to enter this so called deemed terrible world it's time to set some things straight to all those that stick the big fat 'FUCK THAT' in front of the idea of having children in the view that they are committing social life suicide.
Yes life will change, there is no denying that. It will absolutely change. You now have to keep a child alive. That's birth it, raise it and try your damned hardest to provide for a really long time. It is no mean feat. But we are so caught up on the negative that we end up creating a terrible stereotype of which we place parents in, and don't really let them tell us that thier reality is very different to the one we have created for them.
I truly believe that negative stigmas are a huge contributing catalyst to things such as PND for parents who feel they are taking this GINORMOUS step in their lives and get overwhelmed by the change. As well as fertility struggles for older women who have prolonged trying for children until they have proved a point to the very shallow thinking world believing they need to achieve before having a family. The 'YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME' is old fashioned and our world is set up very differently to the nappy washing, women only malarkey generations before us had.
When did becoming a parent mean we've all suddenly lost our lives. We've stopped caring about what we look like, how we present ourselves, and what we do for fun. For us yes, having children is difficult. It changes your priorities to a point where they are your main source of care, but it doesn't mean you can't stop caring about yourself-working out, looking good, eating well, working hard or in fact going out. In fact if you keep caring about these things you'll probably be a better parent because you are pouring from a full cup, a fulfilled cup infact.
Of course (like everyone, I'm sure) every now and then I go into major panic mode. Like; shouldn't I really be on a party boat in Ibiza instead of choosing fabric for a nursery? Like; holy crap when did we suddenly choose sleepless nights with a newborn over sleepless nights at Ushuaia? Ok so my priorities are a little different currently i'm 8 months pregnant BUT guess what post birth I STILL want sleepless nights in Ibiza AND a family! SHOCK. And do you know what; that is ok and totally doable. Yes it might take a little more planning, life is slightly less spontaneous but it doesn't mean it can't happen. If that is really what you want then there is no reason you cannot work your way around it. Screw peoples opinions, their old fashioned views that you should be devoting your entire existence to your children and continue to do things you love whilst loving your family.
It is time for us to stop thinking in the past. You do not lose your life once you become a parent. That way of thinking should not be in the 21st century. Life changes, your priorities change but it does not mean that your self has to. If we can continue to do what we love with the people we love then it will open up a whole new era of parenting. After all, starting a family with someone you love is fucking brilliant, and we should all celebrate this rather than crush the joy with horrendous stereotypes and depressing expectations. After all who the hell says we cannot have it all!