ParentFolk Column: She's the one.
She's the one.
It’s not easy finding your soul mate, well it was for Jess and I we both found them whilst we were tanked up in a bar, pure class! But really it isn't hence the thousands of different apps coaxing people into doing just that. Although, whilst a life long baby making soul mate is great, what no one talks to you about is the importance of finding a Mama Soul Mate- and these are the mates us mothers need the most.
If you already have such friend, then you are one lucky lady! Raising your children alongside a like-minded partner in crime. You know, the one who will call you out before your own partner has the chance to. There will be this mother like instinct when you meet her you’ll 'just know'. But here for our musings is the phantom checklist on what to look for in 'the one' and if you're anything like us you'll find a ton of these to build your village with.
1. She doesn’t judge you.
Sure, you get together and have a good old judge about those around you but she will never judge you. She will always be in your corner when it matters most. Like if your kid decides to have colossal meltdown and you’re forced to implement a time out, she just fends for herself and even makes YOU a coffee whilst you deal with your little delight.
2. She gives around the clock assistance.
Like the kind of customer support you want from EVERY OLINE STORE EVER. She is there for you night and day. No Whatsapp goes unanswered in this mutually fruitful relationship, and you can bet she won’t roll her eyes if you send her a message at 3am because you want to rant about the washing machine, or your 6 month old baby or your 30 year old man baby.. And after every conversation, a slow deep breath comes naturally again and life is restored.
3. She gives life to the weak.
We all have weak days. She’ll immediately sense your despair and invites you over for coffee and snacks (Read: wine and cheese). She’ll remind you that tomorrow is another day and you both can do this. Most importantly – you’ll actually believe her.
4. She is efficient.
When you forget nappies for your 3 month old at home? No problem. She’s got pull-ups and duct tape, because you aren’t leaving, the baby needs to be changed, and you’re the dream team.
5. She hands out the honest truth
The best relationships are honest, and you can count on your girl not to sugar-coat anything. Whether it’s up-the-back sh*t storms, or hard hitting tales of that time your baby choked on a bread stick – you both spare no detail and share your stories openly and honestly, making you both stronger warriors. Your explicit birth story is still etched in her brain, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
6. She is your Google
A Mama Soul Mate knows the importance of imparting knowledge from her own experience. After all, do you really want to continue searching Google images for an answer on the impending rash on your toddlers foot? According to WebMD, your babies got trench foot and needs it lopped off immedietly.
7. She understands what adult dinner is.
You know you love your kids. Your friends know you love your kids. Facebook and Instagram DEFINITELY know you love your kids. But neither of you want to talk about them all the way through dinner. Your mama mate knows this.
8. She laughs with you not at you.
Having a sense of humour is really the only thing that’ll get you through, and it’s no fun if you’re the only one laughing.
In the end, it’s nice to have an ally in the trenches of motherhood who is transparent, empathetic and tough as nails. If you’re lucky, you will find a squad full of ladies that will encompass all of this in their own special way. Find this eternal love, and those late nights and very long days of uncertainty will become much more manageable – and you may actually feel like you’ve got your sh*t together!
To read the entire magazine online head to: issue.com/parentfolk/docs/pf4issuu