Welcome to The Mum Club, we are Jess and Lauren thanks for stopping by. Please let us know if we can help you with anything... 

Viagra for Mums

Viagra for Mums

Many things changed after babies and the things that brought me real happiness is one of them. Mum happiness may seem odd to some but you probably have no children and no washing.  


Some one .... ANY ONE cooks you dinner. The one reason I am grateful my mum lives more than a day trip away is because I know I will have at least three meals cooked for me that I have not taken any part in. Even if someone else makes you a brew, that is real happiness right there. 

NOT sharing! I know this is what we spend 85% of our days instilling into our children but... A whole bar of fruit and nut to myself and not eating it hidden in the cupboard. I have always had a small issue .. ok big, BIG issue with sharing ever since I was a toddler which I now realise must of caused great frustration for my Mother but once you become a mum nothing is sacred and even my Chanel lipsticks get smeared across snotty top lips, never mind my bar of fruit and nut. ( I promise these all wont be about food ).

Getting to the bottom of the laundry basket. Sometimes, once in a blue moon, there is perfect silence in the house. This being the rarest of occasions, as living with a rugby player and two grubby kids the constant wuring of the washing machine never stops. Yet sometimes I empty the barrel and go to fling another load of snot ridden bibs mixed with my silk vests from Reiss and there is nothing there. We have done it people! I have excelled in Mumhood... until bath time. 

When they do something really odd and really funny and your like 'omg your so weird I love you'

The bottom of a mug. like the washing basket its not very often I get to see the bottom of my mugs. Normally they have been abandoned mid sup to stop Teddy eating Play-Doh or save the dog from having its makeup done and then theres that moment when you return to said cup and take a big gulp of cold Tea only to microwave it but its never the same! 

Shutting the door on Daddy day care and going out when its dark. 

Blow drying my hair with out having to be a monster with the hair dryer every 5 seconds. 

The spare bed. The spare bed symbolises eight hours of unbroken sleep with the door shut. Its like being in Narnia, no body knows you are in there because unless Nanny is visiting the spare room is an abyss we never venture into. Sometimes I am so happy to be in the spare bed I can't even sleep and just lie there star fishing in all my joy. 

Sunday nights, when all the memes come out on social media about being back at work tomorrow and why can't it be a three day weekend. Well you never left work because it never stops, even if work does consist of eating crumpets and watching Peppa Pig. (oh come on she is not that bad).

When the kids fall asleep on the sofa just before bedtime so I don't have to read the 40 page bedtime story for the five thousandth time. 

When your kids behave like absolute angels in public, while everyone else is having a shitter and you get to do that look to the other mums and say things like "aw is he teething?'.

The last one may come as a surprise but I love my kids when I have a hangover. I mean not for the whole day or anything and I don't want to look after them but who ever says they don't  need baby cuddles when they have a hangover is a liar! I am clingy and needy and they make me feel so much better about my unwashed hair and old prosecco breath. 



First impressions matter

First impressions matter

Why being Pregnant at Christmas sucks.

Why being Pregnant at Christmas sucks.