10 things to do if you have mum flu.
TELL YOUR PARTNER, BUT ONLY ONCE.
Rule number one. They need to know you are ill and that you have to handle your day like f***ing super women, despite feeling like you’ve licked the soles of a thousand feet. But mention it once and handle it like a pro. The more you mention it the more it gives them permission to whine like a bitch when man flu hits.
TAKE ALL THE DRUGS.
Pain killers were made for a reason. This is not the time to be a hippy loving tree hugger. You should have thought about that last week when you were downing tequila until 4am 3 nights in a row (true story). Take the drugs.
CHARGE THE IPAD
You love your child, they love you. Even if you are a screen avoiding mum, they won’t turn into square eyed disobedient, obese babies if you let them spend one day in front of a screen. Hey we all need days like that from time to time. Mumma needs to rest. Give them the iPad and get Mad Men series on the box for yourself.
CHANGE THE CLOCKS
7pm becomes 6pm, and we are completely down for a 6pm bedtime for EVERYONE.
DO AN ONLINE SHOP.
Get the good food in. If anything it’ll make your head feel better that your cupboards are stocked full of health but also NO ONE I REPEAT NO ONE wants to go to Tesco when they feel like Death. There would be a fight in some capacity.
POUR THAT CUP BRIMFULL
Have an at home blow dry when baby is in bed. Its a splash but trust us you’ll feel brand new.
AMAZON PRIME PLAYDOH
We hate play doh, it gets everywhere. The colours mixed together sends us into control freak hives. BUT they play with it for hours. Especially the ice cream one. Get that one. Then get your partner to pick it all up after you’ve told him you’re sick.
CALL IN FOR HELP
Grandparents, your trusty baby sitter, your neighbour, anyone passing the house… (jks…) Call in some help, even just for an hour or two. Jump in a HOT bath, and hope the steam hits you and you feel a whole lot better. Even if its just to change into a fresh set of PJS.
GET OFF THE GRAM
Unfollow everyone except us. No-one needs to see pictures of the Revolve influencers when you look like the only thing you could influence is Kleenex, and not in a hot way…
SUCK IT UP
You will be ok. You have got through a lot worse. Its Tim to put your big girl pants on and suck it up. We hate to say it.