Mum guilt, let that shit go.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.
It took me a few years to get this one, but you are NOT the same as your best mate, or your sister or your mum. Your life is different. YOU are different. Stop comparing what you do against what they do. Parent how you want to parent, how you see best fits your life. After all it is YOUR life.
YOU’RE GONNA FEEL IT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
Fact. If your Mary Freakin’ Poppins, or Nanny Mcphee. You are going to feel guilt. SAHM, Working mum, Solo mum, Lesbian mum, leave me alone mum, play all day mum. YOU WILL FEEL GUILT. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. Like water to a flame, you’re just giving it the fire it wants. So, whats the point?
KIDS ARE HAPPY DOING VERY LITTLE.
It’s you that feels the need to be an all singing, all dancing kiddie centre tour guide. Chill. Get some books, some role play toys and let them play. You do not need to spend all your energy entertaining them.
TAKE EVERYTHING YOU SEE WITH A PINCH OF SALT.
Susan may look like she’s enjoying herself on the gram, sat there smiling whilst covered in glitter. Or Joanne who has ‘not stopped working’ with her peace signs and baby free air. They feel guilt too. Remember not everything we see tells a full story.
YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP
You time is imperative to parenting. If you are fulfilled your child will feel that and shine it out like a beacon. Leaving your kids to do something for you is not something to feel guilt over. It is for them because it is for you and you look after them.
GIVE YOURSELF ROOM NOT TO BE ‘PERFECT’
What ever you think that ‘perfect’ is. Give yourself a break. Nothing is going to happen like you’d like it to all the time. Embrace the imperfection, you’re probably doing an incredible job.
STAND BY YOUR CHOICES.
This one is my favourite. Get clear on what you value - what’s truly important to you. Make your choices based on your values, then stand by those choices. It’s totally natural to wobble once you’ve made a choice but if it’s come from a conscious, considered place aligned to your values it’s going to be easier to stand by that choice and own it when the guilt gremlins come knocking.