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Welcome to The Mum Club, we are Jess and Lauren thanks for stopping by. Please let us know if we can help you with anything... 

Sink or swim

Sink or swim

I decided to take the babies swimming. Our local Virgin has a brilliant pool for kids with slides, water fountains and the waters only deep enough to drown if you're trying really hard. 

So anyway off we went, particularly prepared. Cossies on under easily removable, loose fitting clothing. No socks just flipflops to avoid all risk of difficulty getting them back on to damp tired wriggly bodies. Nell's armbands applied, no longer need to look after that one now. Only mishap being no swim nappy. Do I either; pray he doesn't shit himself in our local lido or prepare for the swell. We opt for the latter as he shits more than I eat Nutella and I eat a lot of Nutella, and we make our way down the stairs. Feeling pretty smug with my overly prepped self, smiling at the other mums. Wait. Why are the "other mums" in the big boy pool??? Oh god. KIDS POOL CLOSED. But I didn't get a text??? Normally, they text to say some kid has pooped in the pool and they have to spend the day scrubbing the walls. F*@K! At this point it's too late to retreat back up the stairs, I was in this for the long hall. Pull your knickers up girl we are going in. 

Aim : Don't drown kids 

So after a few hairy minutes getting to grips with, well, the grips of the kids. I managed to hold Ted on one hip whilst simultaneously one handedly supporting Nell's attempt to swim. I don't know if this is a good time to tell you that she is at the novice end of the swim scale, well It was a sink or swim situation and she got pretty good pretty quick.  The thing about adults pools is they are a lot colder than kids pools so it wasn't long before Teds' bottom lip began to shudder and a change of tactic was needed. I opted for both babies sitting on the side, in turn they would jump in, turn around and swim back to the side. This was going pretty well. Again I beamed a smile at the other mothers with there three months old that did even know if they were in a pool or Lapland, no smile was returned but bitches will hate. 

It was Nells turn; she jumped in, we turned to swim back and ...no Ted. The over excited little bugger had thrown himself in, with his nappy the size of a watermelon he sunk like the titanic and was beaming up at me from the bottom of the pool. 

Long story short he bobbed up laughing and we left. 

Thanks for the text Virgin. 

JL

 

Judging, the passing it on effect.

Judging, the passing it on effect.

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