It's Britney B*tch
It seems as though my soon to be threenager is going through Britney's 2007 meltdown stage. If this even is a stage, because it bloody should be! I don't remember reading anything in Dr Spock about a toddler mimicking symptoms of Britney's historic drug relapse!
Aside from shaving her head, which in this current state I actually wouldn't put past her if she got close enough to big daddies bum fluff trimmer! She is like a emotionally unstable umpa lumpa on speed and no amount of zero sugar, vegan diet is going to tame this beast.
The smallest incident can set her off. She's a bomb ready to blow at any second. I have never been so on edge around something that came out of my vagina. You know when one is coming as her arms start to do this weird flailing thing, like she's trying to shake off a glove and you can see actual fire coming from her nostrils.
I imagine life, for a two year old that wakes up every day telling me its her birthday and who insists on wearing a now very tired looking bridesmaid dress from early June, must be extremely challenging.
But Nell my darling, 'when I'm not with you I lose my mind' - Britney